Updates

1) Went for checkup last Fri and the doc says my hcg level is back to normal hence my nx checkup is one year later. No more weekly trips to SGH, no more blood tests, no more scans...relieved. Is that the end?

2) Jay concert yesterday. Not fantastic but it was great singing along. I still find him super duper attractive when playing the piano and singing ballads. :)

3) Spoke to my P and got approval. Submitted the online application and posted the relevant documents. Again, there are disapproving comments (by some not very close relatives) like : why take masters together? Should take turns. What if you get pregnant? etc. I have no answers. It's my life...I take responsibility for it. Even my mum is supporting my decision...why not?

4) I have to start reminding myself not to post 'angry' updates on Facebook because many of my in-laws are on FB. Quarrels between couples are common but maybe I should keep it away from his side of the family. We are fine la. I guess there will always be happy times and the super pek-cek times.

5) Met Ryan Ho for the first time yesterday during his 1st birthday party and it was great seeing Meelu after more than a year. She is a great friend whom I get a lot of strength and motivation from though we don't keep in contact often. Wish everything bad is over for her.

6) It's Sunday...:( I wished I have a job that doesn't give me the Sunday blues and stress.

Went for a blood test last Fri...myHCG level is down to 795, hoping that it will be down to 0 when I go for my next checkup 2 weeks later. Hope the scan 2 weeks later will bring good news too. Although doc says tt things are looking good, but I haven't been feeling really well these 2 days. I hope the lower abdominal cramps go away soon.

Overall, the first week in sch has been great. Been thinking about taking my masters (in education) ...got to decide real soon if I want to start next Jan. Should I? Should I not?

Been trying to reconsider certain issues I have with wj. I realised that it is quite impossible to change somebody so I have been trying to look at certain things from a different perspective. There are many good things about wj which are clouded by my self-centeredness. So...I am trying to rediscover good things about him, me, us and our r/s.

Btw, I got him a Germany jersey and he got me a PINK adidas top...happy happy. :)

Many things coming up for us...

Big Walk, Jay con, Liu Qian Magic Show, Jeff Chang con...

So looking forward.

每一次的决定

都会遭到一些人的反对或质疑

大部分是出自于关心

小部分的就不提了

这次回来工作的决定

有不少人劝过我

而我也斟酌过

我知道我需要休息

但在家里

我的情绪极度不稳定

胡思乱想

然后在被窝里哭

我不觉得在这样的心理状态下

我能很快康复

但回来的第一天

让我明白了朋友和同事们的担忧

虽然不至于会随时倒下

身体的状况并不如预想中理想

疲倦

晕眩

让我开始怀疑我是否做了正确的决定

不过

我的心情是愉快的

同事

学生

工作

让我暂时忘掉

悲伤

不安

但我知道我必须时时提醒自己

要有足够的休息

希望我能做到

:)

五月天《生命有一种绝对》

我想我必须让大家知道我的近况

现阶段决定不开刀

终于情况有些起色

目前还是得常回去做检查

但心理压力没那么大了

那天Meelu的话

对我有相当大的影响

我问她为什么总能那么坚强乐观

她说就为了她爱和爱她的人

我想到了

妈妈弟弟老公

以及很多很多好友

再这样沮丧下去

也解决不了什么

我开始让自己忙碌

先是做家务

然后是决定下周回学校

尽管有好些人劝我留在家里休息

但我还是坚持回去工作

因为留在家里

只会胡思乱想

当然

还是会难过

大概还会难过很久

但已经不再大哭

就心里会有些伤感

不过没有人会看得出

是伪装也好

是强颜也好

接受事实需要一段时间

释怀？

我需要更多时间

谢谢大家的关心

发自内心的感动

难以言喻

谢谢 =)

今天去了一趟大众

买了张妙如的西雅图妙记5

回来才发现原来早就买了

只是还没看

没办法

只好把多的送给同事

老实说

我很久没有完整地看完一本书了

不想用忙碌当借口

大概是失去了一些什么吧

回想当初

不同的阶段

迷不同的作者

和妈妈一起读琼瑶的爱情小说

曾为了张曼娟的海水正蓝哭得稀里哗啦

去中国扛回来一整套的金庸

隐约记得的张小娴王文华

升上大学前读过的吴庆康

上大学后迷上了张爱玲郁达夫钱钟书

并没有特别爱鲁迅

因王姓姐妹一发不可收拾地迷上了日本文学

有好长一段时间沉溺在村上春树的小说世界里

偶尔读吉本巴娜娜

很爱的石田衣良

间中有印象颇深的侯文永（危险心灵）和韩寒（三重门）

看了电视剧后拾起二月河的历史小说

收集了一整套的交换日记和NANA

但却对其他漫画没有兴趣

不常读非华文书

但很喜欢很乱的One Hundred Years of Solitude

妈妈朋友赠的二手基督山恩仇记（书龄约30）

也记得Torey Hayden书里可怜的小孩

感觉就好像跟很多男生交往过

有时还会脚踏两三四条船

现在回想

有些仍记忆犹新

有些却变得模糊不清

现阶段

我已经无法像当时一样

溺/腻在一本长篇小说里

期待有一天

我会再度回到那个世界