Been thinking about certain bb issues lately. Many comments/opinions/advice from different people, I've got to think about it and discuss with wj what we really want for our bb and ourselves.

1) Breastfeeding. My heart is quite set on total breastfeeding if possible. It has many benefits for the bb as studies have shown but it is very very tough (I heard) especially for first time mothers. There are people (mostly 老一辈) who are against it and during the first few weeks when the mother is struggling with lack of sleep etc, people around will advise her to give formula...But what I heard is that if demand for the breastmilk decreases, supply will also decrease and gradually bb will depend more on formula. So the first few weeks are very crucial for establishing the supply. I have told the two most important people during my confinement about this decision: WJ and Mum...luckily they understand. I hope the confinement nanny is supportive too.

2) Where bb sleeps. I heard of many who bought bb cot but bb did not sleep in it. BB ends up sleeping on the bed with the parents/mattress/摇篮. But I have seen successful instances where bb sleeps in his/her own room in his/her cot. I really don't know. I am thinking of letting bb sleeping with confinement nanny in another room during the first mth and maybe move cot into my room after the first. If the bb can sleep in his/her room after the first mth, then bb will just remain there. Although it might be more tiring for the mother to sleep in separate room, but I think it is better for the long term. Then there's the problem with 摇篮. Me myself grew up sleeping in 摇篮 so I don't want to dismiss it totally. But I don't want it to become a habit...so we'll see. Hope bb will be easy easy on us.

3) Pacifier. Yes or no...not decided yet.

4) Infant/toddler seat. I think it is quite irresponsible to advise people not to buy this. Many people I know disregard the law on car seat but for the safety of the infant/toddler, I think try to keep your advice to yourself regarding this. There are people telling me no need for car seat, just carry in arms will do. But hey, who's going to take responsibility when something happens?

The list goes on...

I keep telling myself that many decisions are subjected to changes. There are many things which will affect your decisions later on. I don't want to insist on something too much when in the end, the one suffering is me/bb/people around me. But yet, I don't want to compromise too much on certain issues.

＊头大＊

Been venting quite a bit of work frustrations on FB and looking back, it doesn't seem like a great idea. But what's done cannot be undone hence I shall put it behind me and probably complain less on FB.

It was really a gruelling 2 weeks as we prepare students for their O levels Chinese paper on 30th May. What irks me was tt some colleagues don't really spare a thought for their colleagues and students and take MC during this busy period. On top of our students and marking loads, we have to take on theirs. Terrible planning on the school's part made things worse.

I broke down in wj's car one morning and realised the physical and emotional stress I have been under all these while. While I did my best, there are people who can just forsake their students and duties. In the end, I have to clear their shit and tire myself to the max. It doesn't help when your boss is someone who is a control freak and wants everything, regardless it is realistic/useful/reasonable or not.

It used to be a joy working here. What happened? What changed?

The only comfort is my bb who has been with me all these while. Mum says she thinks bb is obedient like me cos he/she doesn't gives me much discomfort. Starting to feel bb more...can't wait hold bb in my arms. :)

A colleague who got pregnant around the same time as me just lost her twins. At 5 months, I really can't imagine the physical and emotional pain she had to go through. And she has been trying for a long long time and it was through IVR that she conceive this time. Was quite affected when I heard about it and I get quite emotional whenever I think about her. I really feel that to be able to have a smooth pregnancy and have a healthy baby 真的是一件很幸福的事。真的。